Pastor - Caracas to Coolum
I met Pastor about five years ago, on a dating app here in Sunshine beach. Whilst we didn’t connect romantically, we developed a wonderful friendship, and I have made some lovely friends through him here on the coast. Pastor is one of my dearest friends, he’s got an amazing story and has been generous enough so share it with us… below is a transcript of our conversation.
Noosa National Park coastal walk, circa 2020
Q: tell us briefly about your journey to where you are today?
I started my career in Venezuela working for PWC in 2002. I then moved to IBM for a while before I decided that hardcore corporate wasn’t my thing, I didn’t fit "the mould". So I started contracting for various companies, before I was approached for a job in Australia.
Once in Australia I moved jobs several times - Melbourne, Brisbane, Canberra. In Canberra I had the experience of feeling very lonely, the people I worked with were all flying in and out and so I didn’t have the chance to make many friends. I felt quite isolated.
I did have one friend though, he's still a very good friend who called me up one day and asked me, what do I need to do for you to come work with me? And I said well, I need you to pay me this amount of money and he's like done. And I said, and you need to pay for my move because I'm broke - I had my little sister living with me for six months, and had to pay for her education here to learn English and all that. I was broke! And so he did.
After moving back to Melbourne I took a sabbatical to sail with Sea Shepherd Global and did some work on patrolling West African waters, arresting illegal fishing boats. Then I came back and I've been contracting ever since.
Q: do you remember the exact moment you came to the decision to move to Australia, or was it a gradual process?
I remember I got a call from a head hunter [in Venezuela], around half past midnight, who told me there was a role in Australia, they wanted a senior manager with my profile. In the interview, the last question was, why do you want to come? I answered that it wasn’t about the job, I was curious about Australia, see how it is, the experience of being in Australia, the people and culture. And he said that was the best answer he'd been given. Everyone else talks about the job, but what if you don’t like the country?
In my mid-30s at the time, I felt "stuck" back home. It's funny because I remember speaking with my friends and they would ask me, why do you feel this way? I already had a house, no mortgage, car paid off, I didn't have a worry in the world. So I had a feeling of … what next?
I don’t have that feeling nowadays at all, I am very content with what I have and where I'm at. But in those days, because I was younger, I did have that. So that was the main driver for me. I just wanted to do something different, and that was the opportunity.
Q: what surprised you most about the change?
Pastor in his bar, Foxy, in Coolum Beach Queensland (2021).
You know even though I came to Australia as an experienced hire, it felt like a little club that I didn’t belong to because people had established friends and started their career together. So I didn’t feel like I was appreciated. But again, I was younger and I felt that way at the time anyway.
I also felt quite dependent on the company - on a 457 visa, they would sponsor you for two years. But if you left the company, you would have to start again and wait two years. Your employment determines the status of whether you get to stay or not. Back in those days, if you got fired, the government gave you two weeks to leave.
Q: what was the single most difficult thing you had to do?
The hardest thing about moving here was that I come from a very tight knit family in Venezuela, and we were very close, so it was very hard to leave. I was again in my early 30s, and I had all my friendships at home, and friends that I had made during my early career. And so I just came here, and I was so isolated. It was very humbling, this feeling. Especially because of the time difference, sometimes you were overwhelmed and you didn't have anybody to talk to because it was 2am in the morning back home, so that was very full on. I always had that that uneasy feeling about where I was, wherever I went.
It wasn't until I moved to the Sunshine Coast that I actually felt at home.
Q: what is it about the Sunshine Coast that makes you feel at home?
I don’t know to be honest, I wouldn’t be able to pinpoint it. But you know sometimes you go somewhere and you feel that you've always belonged, and I don’t know, I just love it here, it's a lot quieter than the city, and the ocean's right here. We live on the ocean, so it's great to have that access. And to be able to be in the ocean whenever you want, and the National Park. All those things give me a lot of internal inner peace. (Below - pictures of Pastor with his son, Theo)
Q: what did you learn about yourself through the process of moving?
The most important thing, is that I had done a lot of self-work. I spent years going to a shrink when I was a kid because you know, I was an angry teenager and whatnot. And it wasn’t until I would say around 2018 that I came to understand that I had some unhealed hurt that I just put away, and I didn't know it was there.
So it wasn’t until I started digging into it that I understood this, and asked the question, why I used to be a very reactive person. I did a lot of reading to try and understand what was causing the feeling that I was having. Going on the journey of thinking about it, and then I actually went for help to deal with that unhealed hurt that I have.
And you know, we all have the "not good enough" cancer - we all have it. People can say that you don’t, but we all do. For example, when you call somebody and they don’t return your call, and this triggers the "I’m not good enough" story. In my case, it was that me and my father didn’t have a close relationship, and we didn’t develop a good relationship until I was way older. He wasn’t interested in the things I used to like, I was never good in school and he was very judgmental of how I was.
I guess that was what caused the feelings of not being good enough, because I didn’t feel accepted by my father, and it wasn’t until a shrink pointed it out to me in 2019. I had just been through a breakup at the time, and she said, of course you were an angry kid and you didn’t feel accepted by your father. And I'm like (JC) that was so easy, and it took me until now for somebody to point it out.
So I guess that was the realisation. And doing the work to heal that hurt that I carried, and that gave me so much peace. After the session, my brain just went quiet for the first time.
Q: what external resources supported the transition?
A lot of introspection and reading books. And it wasn't just the move [to Australia]. It started years ago, it wasn’t just the move here. Because being so alone [through the move], I guess brought it out even more.
Q: describe one cultural difference between your previous home, and your new one?
Australians don't speak about how they feel. And they're not confrontational in a way, so when there's a disagreement, they just don't talk about it. In Venezuela, South Americans, we're very passional about something, and we get caught up in the moment, but it's not a bad thing. We just talk about it, and then - boom boom boom! it gets sorted out. Here people just don't say anything.
Also here you have that politically incorrect crap. … back home that doesn’t exist, there's no such thing as politically incorrect. You just say, you just talk, and nobody gets offended by it. [In Australia] I'm used to it now, and I'm a lot more conscious of what I'm going to say when somebody says something that I consider ridiculous [laughs].
Q: what do you miss most about your home town?
[Caracas, the capital of Venezuela] - you know, there's nothing to miss because my country went to sh*t with the communist regime. So the only thing I missed from home was my friends and family. That life doesn’t exist anymore, you know. So I don't miss it. I used to, but I don't anymore. I miss my family and I don’t have them close, and I don’t see them as often as I would like to.
(What about the food, arepas?) Yeah I make arepas, but I think that was one of things that I did when I migrated here, was not to make it harder on yourself trying to recreate your old life. Just get used to your new country. So that's what I did. I just embraced Australia and what they eat and what's common here.
Q: if you could go back in time, what would you tell the Pastor leaving Venezuela, what advice would you give him?
Well, you know what, if you had asked me that question two years ago I would have given you a totally different answer, I actually questioned when my father died from cancer [in my home in Australia], and then my grandmother died of covid [in Venezuela]. Then I kind of questioned the move altogether. Like, what have you done? Alright, you came to work, you ended up just working. What was the point of moving here? You know, I did question that a lot like two years ago. But now I have a son, and that's it. He was a month old yesterday.
So I met Nicole, online too, and yeah it just worked out. She had done a lot of soul searching, and I guess we were both at that point in time that we were ready to meet somebody. And it just worked.
So yeah, I reckon if I was to go and tell Pastor who was about to board a plane to come here… two years ago I would have said, don't go. Just say there. Really, just stay home. You're going to have a good time, but you're also going to miss out on the last years of your father. And you're going to miss out on the Sunday lunches with your grandmother. You're going to miss out on all those things, and then they're going to die, and you're going to regret it. Which I did, really.
One year on the Sea Shephard off the coast of West Africa (2016-17)
I came here without any expectations. Which was good. Now I guess I would tell him, you're going to go there. You’re going to have a very good time, and then you'll understand why the journey is bringing you there, taking you there. And that's it. So I would say go.
Just take it easy, avoid a couple of people. I would tell him don't get involved with this woman, don't get involved with that one… you're going to go through so much heartbreak. Just avoid them. Avoid these two people, please. When you meet this woman, just go running the other way. But yeah, that would be it in hindsight. [laughs]
I think everybody's got those moments when they're like damn, I wish I hadn't, you know, wish I'd done something different. But that's the way life is.
Q: one more question. Name one thing you still want to do in the world?
You know what, I'm pretty content with what I've done. I took that sabbatical [with Sea Shepherd] to give back to the planet, you know, trying to give back to the world without getting anything back in return. I put my life on hold for a year and I did all that Sea Shepherd sailing, trying to help. I thought we would help, give a bit of chance to the environment. But then the thing is that when you go out there and you see the level of carnage that humanity is putting on the planet, I actually came back feeling completely different about it. Like we're not doing anything. We're just a ship, one ship. It's not enough. People need to change the way we think. Humanity needs to change. So I think I came to that realisation when I came back from Africa.
Personally, I've surfed wherever I wanted. And I guess now, I would like to raise my kid in a way, to raise a good human, so that's the one [thing I want to do]. I wasn’t expecting to have a child, I thought I had missed that boat. So he came along and now the only thing left to do is make sure I raise a good human.
Sarah: Pastor, I love that you say you don't have anything left to do except for that. That’s really special. Thank you for sharing your story.
Pastor: You're welcome, I'm happy that I could help.
